Excellently put together, Kari! A bitter-humour that I enjoy
Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 7:48 Post subject: WANTED: The Warden's Antagonists [OOC]
Greetings, I am Yalna Tailglaive, Warden. One of the originals, I was capturing fire giants and floating eyeballs when most of your little group hadn't even been born. You've likely come across the results of my job within the Wardens, the Wanted posters. Every six hours or so, I travel around, find some rare enemies that somehow have become more powerful, set up a poster, leave a reward, leave a note from Sira and carry on with my life.
Recently though, since that Illidan Moronrage somehow became popular, I've been banned from doing Wanted posters on the Broken Shore. Now he's on Argus and purely out of spite, he and his team of new buddies have taken over the job.
Now to the point. Seems there was a messup at the postal service, this is what you get when your post is done by small creatures. Anyway, your Wardens of Azeroth antagonists seems to have across my desk. So, because I'm bored and obviously so impressed that you are warding Azeroth so well it hasn't blown up yet - I'm digressing, I've come up with posters so you can show anyone that pops on by your hovel the enemies you are up against. I've got some spare rewards to I tend to just get from our nearest vendor.
Let's see...Rek'Zun. He's a troll. Funny, we used to call the moronic demon hunters that wouldn't stop talking about jokes no one found funny trolls. Off topic, but something I thought you might find interesting.
So, he wants to make a new troll empire. Empires never end well, name me one good empire? Nope, good. You're smart. Understandable you want to kill him. Stealing souls, yup, that sounds like a bloke worth killing. He still seems a bit different from most other trolls though. Most of the trolls I liked killing used to hide in buildings and get killed by five people. Then they got smart and hid in larger buildings and got killed by ten to twenty-five people. Maybe Rek'Zun has the right idea and not hiding in-
Oh, you killed him. Thanks. Oh.
So he has a daughter. Good, better kill her. She no doubt hates your guts. Maybe one day she'll hunt you down, lock you up, get locked up, kill you atop the Black Temple and someday you'll be revived. F- you Illidan Doucherage.
Right, Uri'Jin. Masks, better destroy masks. Masks are bad, helms are good. Remember that youngsters. Right, do I make her elite? Is she a tough foe. Maybe we'll find out when you-
Oh, you killed her. Thanks. For telling me. Quickly.
Oh well, maybe one day they'll come back. I once did a poster for a guy called Naz'ak and he took almost a year to come back. Since these trolls may take a while to come back, I'll reward you with gold. Afterall, gold is always useful, even when you head off to your next adventure.
So Kora'thil. He's a blood elf. I can see why he should die. Oh, he's undead. Yup, worth killing. A necromancer...anyone care to explain why this guy is still not dead?
So, he's a cult leader. Cults. Surely you have to be an idiot to join a cult. Though, you'd have to be an idiot to become a demon hunter and yet here we are. Anyway, he wants to gather lots of type of magic. Magic, why does everyone care so much about magic. Why aren't there any cults out there that are obessed with plate armour?
Well, better keep killing his commanders and eventually find him. Then kill him. Again. Keep killing him. Visit him on the first Tuesday of the month and kill him again. Undead necromancer blood elves that run cult and play with mind control magic are worth killing over and over again.
Right...reward. Well, seems you been fighting this guy for a while, so have some resources for your order. You're going to need it if you keep letting furry wolves take the lead, or even worse, dead knights.